D-Rank Mania
by Fiobri
Summary: Basically, someone in Konoha takes... pity on the genin and makes sure they have more... interesting D-rank missions. Or was it pity for the poor, bored jounin senseis? Two Oneshots. For now.
1. Mission 1

**The story I said I might do. This is a oneshot for now.**

Mission 1

"Ugh. D-rank missions are such a pain!", complained Asuma Sarutobi, the Third's son.

Yuuhi Kurenai, genjutsu specialist mumbled an agreement beside him as they both sank into a sofa in the jounin lounge. Both had just come from their first missions with their genin teams. Don't get them wrong, it _was_ pretty funny to see them suffer but that just meant they had to sit for _hours_ in boredom. Then a presence appeared behind them, making shivers run up and down their spine. Two heads _slooooowly_ turned around to stare at Konoha's Green Beast who had dangerously shining eyes and a grin splitting his face.

"G- Gai? W- What can we do for you?", Asuma sweated nervously.

"Mwa- ha- haa!", Maito Gai laughed, shoulders bouncing up and down as the shine in his eyes (seriously, they looked like stars!) and shadowed face stared at them, "You have started taking D-rank missions with your youthful genin, huh?"

Both jounin waited as the green spandex wearing taijutsu specialist's grin widened. Suddenly it was day and sun was shining and a magnificent wave crashed behind Gai (even Kurenai had trouble guessing how he cast the illusion) as he made a pose.

"Fear not! Owando Midori-chan's youthful missions are just what you need! Do not worry about tedious D-ranks when she is up and awake! Hahahaha!", he walked away, fist still up in the air and leaving two creeped out jounin behind.

They glanced at each other, shivered, and stared forward again. A long moment later Kurenai talked.

"Owando Midori… That girl is the herbalist that lives near the wall, right?"

Asuma thought for a moment and nodded in agreement. There was silence for a few seconds.

"Perhaps we could give it a try"

Somewhere else, six newly assigned genin shivered.

xXXx

The next day team 10 had accepted a new mission.

"Listen up, kids. Today we'll be cleaning a warehouse near the wall. One Owando Midori has given the task and meets us at her house"

Three groans escaped from the young genin as they thought of the enormous task that would be. Shikamaru's trademark 'troublesome' was echoed by Ino's and Choji's body language. Asuma took in a lungful of smoke and enjoyed their silent complaining as they walked towards their destination. A few minutes later they were standing in front of a neat looking cottage where an apron wearing young woman was managing her garden of herbs. She had her long reddish brown hair in a neat plait over her shoulder and a light green scarf over her head. Bright forest green eyes looked up and she smiled.

"Ah! Welcome. I've been waiting", she dusted herself a little and started walking towards a trail that lead to a forest right beside her house, "Follow me. The warehouse is near the middle"

Asuma glanced at his genin and jerked his head to get them going. Shikamaru had a thoughtful frown on his face as he watched the woman walk, humming a cheerful tune as she went. Ino sighed.

"Well. Let's go. The warehouse doesn't clean itself"

And the trio followed behind the cheerful woman in a green sleeveless shirt and dark brown knee length shorts. Asuma trailed behind them. So far she looked fairly normal. As was the mission. He couldn't help but think that perhaps Gai was wrong and he would be subjected to a long period of boredom again.

Then they reached the warehouse. Midori opened the door and then threw the keys to Asuma. There was a glint in her eyes.

"I expect you not to steal anything. Just stack the same kind of things in piles and the named ones under their name tags"

"Hai, Owando-san", Ino agreed easily.

The woman gave a toothy smile, "Just call me Midori. I'm at my house. Come give me the keys back once you're done", and with those words she skipped away happily whistling.

His genin watched as she disappeared back up the path.

"A strange woman", said Choji, munching on some chips.

Shikamaru scratched his head, eyes closed, "...Troublesome"

Ino whacked them over their heads, "Let's just do it! We don't have all day"

She ignored the mutters of evil harpies and dragged them with her. They stepped inside… and were promptly assaulted by a barrage of flying objects.

"What the- !", Shikamaru ducked under a pillow that hit Choji square in the face.

Ino screamed a 'kyaa!' as she dodged honey coated sticks and- _was that a flying squirrel skin!?_ Shikamaru couldn't check. He was too busy trying not to get hit by smokebombs… that promptly hit the floor and made dodging things that much harder. When they finally emerged from the cloud, panting and bruised from all the things they got hit with, Asuma was trying to stifle his laughter as he held a note attached to the keys he still held. It read 'Oh. I forgot to mention that it's cramped with traps. Don't worry! Any lethal aspects were removed yesterday!'.

" _Pfft_ … Gai was right. This is going to be… _interesting_ "

Ino screamed something about things 'not being fair' while Shikamaru was saying they shouldn't have trusted a former ninja to do things normally. Asuma suspected he knew Midori's first occupation by the standard shinobi sandals she wore and the fact her steps were abnormally quiet. He looked down at his team.

"Well, it seems she has the place filled with traps for intruders. Try not to set anything off while you clean up in there"

The trio groaned.

"Cheer up!", he chuckled, "Think of it as training"

xXXx

"KYAAA! MY HAIR IS ON FIRE"

"EH!? Shikama- wait. Ino. You're fine"

"Are you telling me there are genjutsu traps too? What a drag..."

xXXx

"No, Choji. You can't eat the chips"

The Akimichi trembled as Ino placed the last of the chip bags in their corner. His finger twitched towards them. He was just about to grab one when Shikamaru grabbed _him_ from behind and dragged him away. Unfortunately that triggered a trap and both promptly fell through a trapdoor and bounced on a mattress.

Ino cackled at them. Shikamaru grumbled. Asuma chuckled from his perch near the ceiling.

xXXx

Ino tried to muffle her laughter as she helped Shikamaru get down from the most basic trap ever.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up…", the boy grumbled as he dangled from a rope around his ankle.

The girl burst into full blown laughter, "Y- you said you got this!"

xXXx

"Choji, watch out!"

The boy turned and got a water balloon on his head. His two teammates stared as the reddish liquid rolled down his face. He licked it.

Shikamaru and Ino shielded their eyes from the glowing grin as a pleased 'YUUUMMMYYY!!!' left his lips.

xXXx

"Mrr… Stop laughing and get me out of here!", Ino screeched at the boys.

Shikamaru's shoulders were shaking as were Choji's. The blonde girl was stuck inside a cage with a warning sign. A warning for an angry harpy.

xXXx

Shikamaru sweated. There was a hook near the ceiling. With a nametag for a plastic shovel.

He gulped.

There was also an unidentified trap up there. Readying the kunai in his hand the young lazy genius concentrated and _threw_. The shovel flew with it, clanging in the right place. He sighed in relief.

Too soon.

The kunai didn't stick to the wall and it fell, cutting a string. Two bags of confetti exploded as a banner fell down. It read 'Congratulations'. That would have been encouraging if there wasn't a smaller print under it telling to clean up the confetti. Ino slumped. Choji's stomach grumbled and he held his hand to it mournfully. Shikamaru, well… Shikamaru was Shikamaru.

He sighed in annoyance.

"Troublesome"

xXXx

The three genin plus one jounin returned four hours after the mission started, the kids looking bone weary but accomplished. Midori had moved inside and Asuma knocked on her green painted door.

"Coming!", came a muffled and cheery yell from the inside.

The door was opened and everyone saw the mischievous glint in her eyes as she stared down at the trio. Asuma gave her the keys.

"Thanks! How did it go?", she asked the genin with a kind smile.

"Mission accomplished!", Ino chirped happily, "Though that confetti trap was a bit much"

The two boys with her shivered, probably remembering all the trouble they got into while trying to clean it up. Midori chuckled as she threw the keys over her shoulder, straight to a hook in the wall. She dug inside her apron's pocket and took out four envelopes, holding them out for the ninja.

"Here's your pay. Plus a list of some interesting traps you might want to try out and a guide for making them. One for each genin!", she grinned as the trio took them, looking interested and Asuma chuckled good naturedly, "You're free to go now but if you want sandwiches for your ' _long'_ journey home I can fetch"

Choji's stomach grumbled as he immediately brightened up, "Yes please!"

Everyone laughed as Midori walked back inside and gave them four paper bags and ushered them out to continue with their day. They were pleased to find the sandwiches tasted very good. Shikamaru was looking through the list of traps and making some interested comments on them. It sounded like they were more advanced than Academy taught its students.

All in all, everyone thought the D-rank was much better than a normal one. Asuma made a mental note to thank Gai for the advice. He wouldn't mind sitting through one of those again.

xXXx

 **Done! My attempt at humor. Tell me what you think. And if I should at least _try_ to make another chapter or not. No guarantee I will, though. Right now I'm tempted. Don't know what it'll be tomorrow or a month later. Thanks for reading!**

 **PS. Should I put up a disclaimer or something? Well hopefully this counts.**


	2. Mission 2

**It took a while but... I got another mission ready! Owando Midori's introduction two!**

Mission 2

Midori was just setting up the last of her laundry when Team 8 arrived.

She set two clothespins to the white sheet and turned to the new genin and Kurenai. There was a terribly shy looking Hyuuga girl, an Inuzuka boy with an appearance that screamed brash and his puppy, and an Aburame who was… just the typical looking insect clan member.

"Ah, so you guys are harvesting my apples?", she smiled innocently.

The Inuzuka boy 'tsk'ed, "Yeah, yeah, just show us where they are"

Hmm, he seemed kind of rash. And a bit rude. No matter. She smiled even more sweetly.

"Yes, follow me", she lead them to the back of her house and watched happily as the dog boy's eyes widened.

Her trees were tall. And straight. No branches to hold on to. She cackled inwardly.

"Please put the apples gently in those baskets. They go bad if they're dropped. You can come get me when you're done. Ja ne!", and she started walking away.

It was the shy looking Hyuuga who stopped her by calling out, "W- Wait!"

Forest green eyes blinked at them. The girl poked her index fingers together, eyes flickering left, "Um… Where would we find la- ladders…", her voice got quieter as she talked.

She got a beaming grin.

"I don't own any", and the woman continued on her way.

Team 8 was left behind, Kiba spluttering and Hinata wide eyed. Shino was… stoic. But he had raised an eyebrow. Kurenai chuckled under her breath and turned to her team.

"Well, it looks like I'll have to teach you how to climb"

xXXx

"Haa- Ack!", Kiba fell, back first on the ground. He rolled back on his feet and glared at the stupidly tall tree.

How their client had grown them was a complete mystery and not something on his find-out list. Right now he needed to concentrate on controlling his chakra. And walking up the tree.

He got up and charged again with a yell, Akamaru yipping next to him.

Almost…! two meters…!

Slam!

He pushed too much chakra into the bark and it shattered, throwing him off with another yelp. Ouch. That hurt.

"Stupid tree!", he kicked it for good measure.

And watched, wide eyed, as three apples fell. He scrambled to catch them and sighed in relief to have them in his arms. He put them in the basket before grinning, an idea forming in his mind.

"Hey, Hinata! Shino! Let's try this!"

xXXx

It didn't work.

The three apples that fell from the first kick were already ready to fall. Shino got one and Hinata dropped four with her Gentle Fist style. That was the extent of hitting the trunk. Kiba was disappointed.

It was Hinata who got the next idea.

"U- Um. We could poke them down with a long stick", she said with a slight blush.

Shino adjusted his sunglasses, "That isn't going to work. Why? The forest doesn't have branches that are long enough"

She looked put out and sad, "Oh…"

Kiba patted her shoulder encouragingly before they resumed trying to learn tree walking. Shino got the best results.

xXXx

The three had gotten maybe a third of the apples down and were now panting on the ground. Shino was sitting and stared at the trees. He took out a kunai and threw it to one. An apple fell and he caught it easily.

"Tch. Way too slow", Kiba told him.

Hinata looked thoughtful. She took out a few shuriken.

"U- um. Please catch them for me!", and she threw.

Seven out of eight shuriken got an apple to fall towards the ground. Kiba and Shino were quick to get them and dump them in the baskets. There was a new fire in both pairs of eyes. Though one was hidden behind black glasses.

"Good thinking Hinata!", the dog boy praised.

Shino twitched. It had been his idea. Hinata smiled shyly and muttered something. They got to work again.

xXXx

Three hours later the trio was bruised and panting from the day's exertion and harsh training. But they'd improved leaps and bounds. Midori hummed appreciatively as she took one apple filled basket.

"Thank you all!", she dug out the pay and then signed for them to wait a bit.

Kurenai and her team watched curiously as she turned up again with four small glass jars full of grounded herbs. She gave each of them one.

"There you go. It should help with regaining your reserves. Speeds the process about a third!"

They were left behind the green door, blinking in bemusement. It wasn't really normal for clients to just give things like that. Especially in a ninja village. Shino had something else in mind too.

"...She invited us to get some apple jam tomorrow", he told his teammates.

Both snapped their head towards him, "Eh!?"

Kurenai smothered an amused smile. Gai had been right. This day was amusing. And productive. They started walking down the road as Shino explained how the number of trees, baskets, no ladder and four jars and envelopes gave out a code that said 'apple' and how she had signed standard signs with her left hand the two times they'd seen her. All adding up to 'apple', 'jam' and 'tomorrow'.

It was then Kurenai decided to take another mission from Midori. They really were much more interesting than normal D-ranks.

xXXx

 **Yeah. I dunno if any more oneshots come out but... Well. Stay tuned? Let me know if you get an idea. I might get inspired enough to write it.**


End file.
